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- Ray was born in Moose Jaw Saskatchewan in 1913, the second child and son of Eugene and Clara McIver. His father was a carpenter and the family moved around a lot seeking employment. They moved to Butte, Montana shortly after his sister Mary was born, and his father obtained work in the coal mines. It was there, they survived a smallpox epidemic, took sick and dying miners into their home, and his father survived being buried alive in a mine collapse. But tragedy struck again with dire consequences, at the age of 5 his beloved mother succumbed to the flu epidemic of 1918, two weeks after giving birth to Joseph, leaving his father with 5 children under the age of 7 to raise. As it was hard to raise these young children on his own, he sought assistance from his sister Margaret and husband Bill Slavin in California. They were childless at the time and willingly took Irene age 2 and baby Joseph into their care. Ray, Leo and Mary moved around with their father, eventually settling in Boston, Mass. Ray did his schooling in Boston up to Grade 7. It was here that his love of reading and learning blossomed under the mentorship of his cousin Sister Mary Henry. The family returned to PEI and his father married Beatrice Dufffy. Ray completed the next 3 years of schooling in one year. He had always wanted to be a doctor but for whatever reasons most likely financial, being the Depression, he went instead to Prince of Wales College where he obtained his teaching certificate. He began at the age of 18 teaching in a one room school at Maple Plains, PEI. He taught grades one to ten. In 1936, along with his brother Leo, he moved to Trail, B.C. to seek employment in the rumored construction of the southern Trans Canada Highway. Needless to say this project never occurred and he spent his first couple of years working cutting and hauling firewood to the residents of Trail. He eventually was hired on at the Consolidated Mining and Smelting Company as an electrical apprentice. He met the love of his life at baseball game and they were married in September of 1940. Daughter Jocelyn was born in 1941 and son Raymond 1n 1943 and daughter Patricia in 1947. In 1942 he could no longer ignore the war that was devastating Europe and he joined the RCAF and trained as a pilot, receiving his wings in Sept. 1943. He no sooner finished this training when he was approached to train as a navigator, as there was an extreme shortage of qualified men to do this task. During this time his wife and Jocelyn travelled back and forth across Canada with him until he was shipped overseas, where he remained stationed out of England until the wars end. Dorothy returned to Trail to give birth to Ray Jr. This was a very lonely time for him and he saw the worst of the worst. He rarely talked of the horrors he saw and could not understand how people could sit around and tell war stories. This gentle man was finally returned home to his loving family after spending 6 months at Rockford, Ontario, recovering from what today we refer to as post traumatic syndrome but then was called "shell shock". Two years later the family moved to Castlegar and daughter Patricia was born and he began his life anew as a good father and husband. He raised his family well, nurturing his strong faith in the Catholic Church and instilling it in his children. About 9 years later, suffering again the effects of the war, he developed a problem with alcohol; suffering for 3 years. With his strong faith in God and his love of his family, he overcame this disability and gave up alcohol for the rest of his life. In his 50's he decided he would like to return to the teaching profession and went on to earn his Bachelor of Education degree from Notre Dame University. He then continued in the field of education until his retirement at age 65. He loved to teach and always said he would continue long past retirement age if he could. While in his 60's he again took up Electrical contracting with his son-in-law until he was again forced to retire due to illness. He enjoyed skiing, prospecting, travelling and being with his grandchildren. Ray was very well liked as a person and is still fondly remembered by many of his former students and friends. He had an infectious sense of humour and sense of adventure. If someone acted up he would say “Don’t be a blood alley” and we never completely understood what it meant. He was a lifelong learner and never thought that age should be a barrier to anything and that was how he lived his life.
As his youngest daughter Patricia, I will always remember my father. He was a good father to me. He taught me my religion, the most important thing in my life, and how to remember why we are here. He was young enough to teach me to ski, skate, fish, drive a car and how to be a good person. Many times he would say “If you can’t say anything good about someone, don’t say anything at all”. He also said “Today is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow never was”. Live in the present for now is all the time you need. Guilt, smilt was his answer, when I said “but I feel guilty”. He was a very fair father. He gave the same love to all three of his children. I never heard any of us complain for lack of his love. I always felt that he was there for me. Most people loved my father. His personality was fun and was always very friendly. One of the greatest gifts that he gave to me was that he loved my mother. He always put her first. Theirs was a love affair all their life. He always took care of his family and loved his grandchildren. I am sorry that he never met my grandchildren, as they would have loved him, too. He grew up without his mother, but I know that she would have been proud of the person he became. I was proud to have him as my father. He died too soon and all us that were touched by his life have a void that will never be filled. I will miss him until I die. He was a beautiful man inside and out and I am proud to have had him as my father.
As the oldest of our family I have many memories both sad and funny about my father. He was always a very loving man even during the turbulent times of his struggle with alcohol. Family was everything to Dad as evidenced by our countless time spent together swimming, picnicking, fishing and other activities already enumerated by Pat. My dad had a remarkable ability to read and remember with little effort poetry that he loved; he would recite many of the poems by Robert Service and keep you spellbound reciting The Lady of the Lake form beginning to end without a flaw. He had many sayings that he imparted to us all the time but the one I remember most is that "if you don't have anything good to say about a person don't say anything'". He taught me many things as he did Ray and Pat so I will not repeat what they have already said only ditto. but the greatest thing he taught me was always to have faith in myself and to live life to it fullest "God put you here to love and enjoy life". He grew up motherless, but always remembered her with undying love and devotion and in the 1970's had her rejoined with him in the Kinkora cemetery. He never lived as long as he hoped and never got to love his great and great great children but my own grandchildren speak of him with a love as if they know him. I had the privilege of being with him along with my mother when he died; he met death bravely the day after completing a novena of good Fridays. There is no one that can ever fill the gap in my life that he left. Memories of him coming after me chasing pigeons in Winnipeg , taking me in the horse and buggy at Grandpa's to attending my nursing graduation and the pride he had in us will never fade. I love you Dad and will always miss you.
All three of his children agree we could not have asked for a better father and were truly blessed to have had him.
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McIverPEIAncestry.ca Electronic Family Tree GN
1913 - 1991 (77 years)
